How Do I Do It?
I’m asked all of the time about how I make “it” work. What exactly is it? I have found that “it” means something different to every person who asks me this question.
Some people want to know how I balance work and family. Other people are interested in how I was able to manage earning an intensive doctoral degree while getting divorced, figuring out my new modern family, and parenting all at the same time. Other people simply want to know why I am not bitter towards my ex and his boyfriend (Jeff and Keith).
It is definitely flattering when people want my advice in these areas, but I really don’t have “it” all figured out – as a matter of a fact, I feel like my life is more of a one step forward two steps back kind of a life. Just when I have one thing figured out, another new challenge rears its awful head.
What has really helped guide me through this whole adventure of creating my modern family is to always keep in mind my overall goals for both my life and for my kids’ life. This isn’t always easy! Sometimes things pop up in my life that cause me to question my previous goals or tempt me to abandon my previous goals for this new, shiny goal simply because it seems immediate and easy.
For instance, I have had a dream of writing a book about my modern family and possibly having a radio show for many years now. A (VERY!!) tempting career opportunity came up for me at the university where I am currently employed, but it does not align with my previous goals. Go for it or not go for it? That is what I have been struggling with lately.
This new position would be challenging (in a fun way) and it would pay (very!) nicely, but it would not allow me the time to work on my book. I also feel pressured because of my age (I am 40 years old now – yikes!!) and I do not have the time to climb the university administration ladder.
Therefore, I think I have decided that if something new comes up with my current employment, I will be open to it (I need to pay bills!), but I am also going to make sure it does not interfere with getting my message out there regarding modern families. This next year is going to be devoted to organizing and writing my book so that I can be a voice for other modern families out there.
If I can do it, then so can you! There is nothing special about my life – I just like to think that I rely on my positive outlook on life and my determination to be happy. When confronted with an obstacle in your life, take the time to consider how it aligns with your personal and family goals. Is this obstacle impossible?? Of course it isn’t! Very few obstacles in life are insurmountable!!
I plan to continue writing more in future blog posts about how I have handled the challenges of being a modern family parent (some of these I handled successfully and others not so great). Please tell me in the comment section about your parenting challenges and if you think my advice will help you – after all my goal is to build knowledge and support for all kinds of families in this modern age of parenting!
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